Good Afternoon everyone,
Here's a small update on young Lau's situation. After the sun published his story, his father had a meeting with school's representatives. The school has taken action to help the boy with support on the playground and within the school. (to follow his story http://www.torontosun.com/ writen by Kevin connor)
I have to say I am relieved that something is being done to help this family. However, as a parent it's unnerving to hear that the father had to contact the media before steps would be taken in protecting his young son.
What are some of the psychological and physical effects of bullying?
In most cases when a child is being bullied he/she becomes withdrawn, lonely and secluded. Bed wetting and nightmares may also occur. Some children may shown signs of explosive anger. He/she may suddenly dislike school and make up excuses not to go.
In most cases the child is ashamed and will refuse to talk about what is happening. He/she may not know how to talk about it.
If you are seeing sudden behavior changes in your child, such mentioned above. It is imperative to keep lines of communication open. Be patient and understanding with your child. Start by asking how things are at school. What do they do during recess, who their friends are. Create a comfort zone for them. He/she will eventually open up to you.
When your child finally does open up and tell you what has been happening. Try to not show your thoughts, feelings and frustration. If your child sees your anger, he/she will assume it's their fault and immediately shut down.
What can you do to help?
You have to try to place yourself in your child's place. First, they believe that they will be punished for telling on their classmate. Second, they assume that the bullying will get worse if they tell an adult. Unfortunately, in most cases it does get worse if the problem is not dealt with properly.
Start by calling the school and having a meeting with the principal to discuss what has been going on. Address your concerns respectfully but firmly. Do not take "no this is not happening" for an answer. The principal will most probably do an investigation into the matter. Be active in this, ask for constant updates. You may also want to have a meeting with the parents of the other child or children. I do advise against this as it may escalate things. However, if it is something you feel you need to do. Insure there is a mediator present.
To help your child deal with the emotional effects of having been bullied. You can start by creating a journal in which they write down all of what has happened. Any emotion your child is feeling whether it be good or bad. (If the child is too young to write have them draw it out.) Do not read what your child is writing or coloring. This is part of creating the comfort zone for them. Let he/she know that they are free to express themselves and no one will ever look at it. Do observe them as they are doing this however. Watch how they are writing, if they are scribbling roughly or trying to hold back tears. This will give you an idea of where to begin with the healing process.
If he/she is writing so hard that it nearly puts a hole in the paper. Then you are dealing with extreme anger issues. If he/she is distant and doesn't seem interested in doing this exercise, then it's a deeper rooted issue.
In either case you should find a professional who can help your child deal with these emotions.
Create a special place for your child's journal. Explain that this is the "special place" for these feelings. Emphasize that only they will be allowed to look at the journal. This is not the same as ignoring your problems. This is a simple way to show your child how to express their feelings in a safe and understanding way.
This way if the problem persists your child will come to you right away. Rather than hide away.
Remember the first step to stop this on-going problem is to seek help. Be aware and report it. We must teach our children that this is unacceptable behavior and will not be tolorated. Every child deserves to go to school without fear.
This is a highly recommended book to get you started on helping boost your child's self-esteem.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Bullying
There has been a lot of recent coverage on bullying within our Toronto schools. How is this possible when the schools are boasting on a no tolerance policy? What are the plans that the schools have in place in order to discipline those who are doing the bullying? What action is being done to help the victims?
"Bullying is defined as taking unfair advantage of the weak. The tendency for some children to frequently oppress, harass or intimidate other children verbally, physically or both in and out of school." (http://www.readersdigest.ca/ to find out more)
One of the most severe cases that has been documented, is the murder of Reena Virk in 1997. A 14 year old, Vancouver high school student who was badly beaten, then eventually drowned by a group of her peers. (you can follow her tragic story on http://www.cbc.ca/) What makes her story so shocking is that her attackers were mainly girls. Although statistics still support that bullying remains more common amongst boys than girls, this story has come to be one of the exceptions.
More recent cases reported in the Toronto Sun's front page both on Monday, December 13 and Tuesday, December 14, 2010. Both cases are as sickening as the other.
William Lau, a 7year old boy with cerebral palsy, has been verbally and physically assaulted by an older boy at his school. Lau's father has opted to keep the boy home from school for his protection and is now threatened with legal action to return his son to school. The school's punishment for the "bully" was to give him detention. (story reported in the Toronto sun on Monday December 13, by Kevin Connor.)
The featured article on Tuesday December 14 by Chris Doucette, has raised some controversy. Julian Atkinson, a four year old elementary student has been pushed on numerous occasions causing his lip to split open, he has had rocks put down his pants, was bitten through his winter jacket hard enough that the teeth pierced the skin leaving marks on the young boy. This is a sensitive matter as the boys are very young, (both the same age). The school's way of dealing with the issue was to move young Atkinson classes (to separate the two boys). After reading some of the blog remarks boasted on the Doucette's article of the story, I was rather taken by the controversy surrounding this case. Some comments suggested that this is some sort of publicity stunt on the mother's part. In my opinion, it shows the mother's frustration to her voice not being heard, and her way of protecting her son the best way she knows how. As previously mentioned it's a sensitive case (which is why I did not quote the whole article directly using the terms "bully" or "victim"), the police can not press charges as the boy falls under the age of 12. The school can only take so much action against the young boy, as at this age children do not comprehend what detention or suspension is.
That does not mean that no action should be taken at all. There should be a comprehensive look into the boys behaviors, a social worker or child psychologist should be contacted. Simply separating the two boys from the class is not enough.
"Schools are equipped for funding for these types of situations. The province of Ontario has spent $230 million dollars since 2004 trying to resolve the issue." (Kim Zarzour, youkregion.com) Most schools do not even use all the funding they are provided for the safe school team. There still seems to be a lack of method to ensure that the schools are complying with the Act and if the plan against bullying in schools is working.
Zero tolerance should mean zero, if schools claim that the Act is being enforced to the fullest, then how are there still so many cases? In a report done by the University of Guelph, approximately 45% of children between the ages of 11 to 16 still do not feel safe going to school. There are many studies, of different measures all showing high statistics, too long to list here, but you get the general idea. Bottom line, most of our children are scared to go to school due to bullying.
Preview at posts to follow: the psychological and physical effects to child bullying. Taking steps to prevent your child from being bullied, or being the bullier (I do apologize in advance to use that term. I don't think that a child who "picks" on another is bad or rotten. It is my strong opinion that those children are just as much a victim and I will present why in further posts)
A personal note about me, I do have a child psychology degree. Thus the blog post will reflect both personal and professional opinions.
Also just a note my blog postings are opinions in lieu of acquiring others opinions and suggestions.
"Bullying is defined as taking unfair advantage of the weak. The tendency for some children to frequently oppress, harass or intimidate other children verbally, physically or both in and out of school." (http://www.readersdigest.ca/ to find out more)
One of the most severe cases that has been documented, is the murder of Reena Virk in 1997. A 14 year old, Vancouver high school student who was badly beaten, then eventually drowned by a group of her peers. (you can follow her tragic story on http://www.cbc.ca/) What makes her story so shocking is that her attackers were mainly girls. Although statistics still support that bullying remains more common amongst boys than girls, this story has come to be one of the exceptions.
More recent cases reported in the Toronto Sun's front page both on Monday, December 13 and Tuesday, December 14, 2010. Both cases are as sickening as the other.
William Lau, a 7year old boy with cerebral palsy, has been verbally and physically assaulted by an older boy at his school. Lau's father has opted to keep the boy home from school for his protection and is now threatened with legal action to return his son to school. The school's punishment for the "bully" was to give him detention. (story reported in the Toronto sun on Monday December 13, by Kevin Connor.)
The featured article on Tuesday December 14 by Chris Doucette, has raised some controversy. Julian Atkinson, a four year old elementary student has been pushed on numerous occasions causing his lip to split open, he has had rocks put down his pants, was bitten through his winter jacket hard enough that the teeth pierced the skin leaving marks on the young boy. This is a sensitive matter as the boys are very young, (both the same age). The school's way of dealing with the issue was to move young Atkinson classes (to separate the two boys). After reading some of the blog remarks boasted on the Doucette's article of the story, I was rather taken by the controversy surrounding this case. Some comments suggested that this is some sort of publicity stunt on the mother's part. In my opinion, it shows the mother's frustration to her voice not being heard, and her way of protecting her son the best way she knows how. As previously mentioned it's a sensitive case (which is why I did not quote the whole article directly using the terms "bully" or "victim"), the police can not press charges as the boy falls under the age of 12. The school can only take so much action against the young boy, as at this age children do not comprehend what detention or suspension is.
That does not mean that no action should be taken at all. There should be a comprehensive look into the boys behaviors, a social worker or child psychologist should be contacted. Simply separating the two boys from the class is not enough.
"Schools are equipped for funding for these types of situations. The province of Ontario has spent $230 million dollars since 2004 trying to resolve the issue." (Kim Zarzour, youkregion.com) Most schools do not even use all the funding they are provided for the safe school team. There still seems to be a lack of method to ensure that the schools are complying with the Act and if the plan against bullying in schools is working.
Zero tolerance should mean zero, if schools claim that the Act is being enforced to the fullest, then how are there still so many cases? In a report done by the University of Guelph, approximately 45% of children between the ages of 11 to 16 still do not feel safe going to school. There are many studies, of different measures all showing high statistics, too long to list here, but you get the general idea. Bottom line, most of our children are scared to go to school due to bullying.
Preview at posts to follow: the psychological and physical effects to child bullying. Taking steps to prevent your child from being bullied, or being the bullier (I do apologize in advance to use that term. I don't think that a child who "picks" on another is bad or rotten. It is my strong opinion that those children are just as much a victim and I will present why in further posts)
A personal note about me, I do have a child psychology degree. Thus the blog post will reflect both personal and professional opinions.
Also just a note my blog postings are opinions in lieu of acquiring others opinions and suggestions.
Friday, December 10, 2010
First topics for discussion
Good afternoon everyone!
Now that I've introduced my blog, I would like to open the forum with a topic that has recently affected myself and my family personally. I'm looking to write a research piece on miscarriages and if there is any correlation between them and trans vaginal ultrasounds, age, stress and environment.
A miscarriage is described as the spontaneous ending of a pregnancy before the 20th week of pregnancy.
The most common causes of a miscarriage is:
1-chromosomal or other genetic abnormality,
2-there is no developing embryo in the pregnancy sac, or the embryo is there but the heart has stop beating.
Here are some statistics on the ratio of miscarriages among women.
1 in 10 women in their 20's
1 in 7 women in their 30's
1 in 3 women in their 40's
(A note about statistics, think of 10 women in your life, one out of those women will suffer a miscarriage.)
These results surprised me I have to say. I didn't realize that the ratio was so high. Miscarriages are very common among women today.
A miscarriage is a life changing event, it effects women emotionally and physically. According to a report done in Women's health Resource; "The rates of depression are reported as high as 22-25% in the year following a miscarriage. Grief, anger, anxiety and panic are also reactions that may accompany pregnancy loss".
Another report suggested that the symptoms following a miscarriage can be compared to postpartum depression or post traumatic syndrome.
It is important for women and their families to understand the feelings and emotions associated with pregnancy loss as it will help with the healing process.
Many women will blame themselves to the point of wanting to end their own life. Which is why I feel that this discussion is important. Having recently miscarried myself I do sympathise and understand the pain that accompanies this loss.
My objective is not to find a cure or to place blame. It is to find a clearer understanding as to why this seems to be a common occurrence in women today. Possibly discover some methods that women can use to protect themselves from suffering this type of loss. Being emotionally or physically.
It is only through research and understanding can we learn to heal and move forward.
Topics for discussion:
Let's look at trans vaginal ultrasounds first.
A trans vaginal ultrasound is a type of pelvic ultrasound. It is used to look at woman's uterus, ovaries and cervix. All research suggests that these types of sonograms are safe to use during pregnancy. In early stages of pregnancy it gives the doctor a clearer image to the sac, yolk and heart beat. Very little research is done on the correlation if any between these types of ultrasounds and miscarriages. Although it does seem to be a concern in many women.
Now let's focus at age.
The percentage of miscarriages among women over 45 is increasing higher. There is not much research done on the causes of this increase. However, our body does change as we get older, our metabolism slows, organs don't function the same way they used to. For some, menopause will begin usually around this age.
The hormone related to stress is called cortisol.
Some scientists believe that this elevated cristol could cross the placenta and interfere with the development and increase the risk of early miscarriage.
In a report written by Marianne Marchese, N.D, Environmental causes of Miscarriage.
She writes about a hypothesise done by scientists "that environmental factors can also influence pregnancy. Our environment is filled with all types of chemicals. These chemicals were created with the intent to improve living through industrial technological advances. They can however, negatively effect our over all health. There is a strong relation between miscarriages and compounds such as, heavy metals, solvents and pesticides to name a few. Even low to moderate lead exposure may increase the risk for miscarriage. Environmental exposures should not be overlooked when trying to achieve a successful pregnancy. It is not necessary to live in fear but it is important to be educated of the potential health risks associated with compounds in our environment." (to read full report visit her website at http://www.drmarchese.com/)
Further discussion on these and related topics will be posted over the next few weeks.
As I mentioned before all comments and opinions are welcomed.
I highly recommend this book if you or someone you know has suffered from a miscarriage.
Now that I've introduced my blog, I would like to open the forum with a topic that has recently affected myself and my family personally. I'm looking to write a research piece on miscarriages and if there is any correlation between them and trans vaginal ultrasounds, age, stress and environment.
A miscarriage is described as the spontaneous ending of a pregnancy before the 20th week of pregnancy.
The most common causes of a miscarriage is:
1-chromosomal or other genetic abnormality,
2-there is no developing embryo in the pregnancy sac, or the embryo is there but the heart has stop beating.
Here are some statistics on the ratio of miscarriages among women.
1 in 10 women in their 20's
1 in 7 women in their 30's
1 in 3 women in their 40's
(A note about statistics, think of 10 women in your life, one out of those women will suffer a miscarriage.)
These results surprised me I have to say. I didn't realize that the ratio was so high. Miscarriages are very common among women today.
A miscarriage is a life changing event, it effects women emotionally and physically. According to a report done in Women's health Resource; "The rates of depression are reported as high as 22-25% in the year following a miscarriage. Grief, anger, anxiety and panic are also reactions that may accompany pregnancy loss".
Another report suggested that the symptoms following a miscarriage can be compared to postpartum depression or post traumatic syndrome.
It is important for women and their families to understand the feelings and emotions associated with pregnancy loss as it will help with the healing process.
Many women will blame themselves to the point of wanting to end their own life. Which is why I feel that this discussion is important. Having recently miscarried myself I do sympathise and understand the pain that accompanies this loss.
My objective is not to find a cure or to place blame. It is to find a clearer understanding as to why this seems to be a common occurrence in women today. Possibly discover some methods that women can use to protect themselves from suffering this type of loss. Being emotionally or physically.
It is only through research and understanding can we learn to heal and move forward.
Topics for discussion:
Let's look at trans vaginal ultrasounds first.
A trans vaginal ultrasound is a type of pelvic ultrasound. It is used to look at woman's uterus, ovaries and cervix. All research suggests that these types of sonograms are safe to use during pregnancy. In early stages of pregnancy it gives the doctor a clearer image to the sac, yolk and heart beat. Very little research is done on the correlation if any between these types of ultrasounds and miscarriages. Although it does seem to be a concern in many women.
Now let's focus at age.
The percentage of miscarriages among women over 45 is increasing higher. There is not much research done on the causes of this increase. However, our body does change as we get older, our metabolism slows, organs don't function the same way they used to. For some, menopause will begin usually around this age.
The hormone related to stress is called cortisol.
Some scientists believe that this elevated cristol could cross the placenta and interfere with the development and increase the risk of early miscarriage.
In a report written by Marianne Marchese, N.D, Environmental causes of Miscarriage.
She writes about a hypothesise done by scientists "that environmental factors can also influence pregnancy. Our environment is filled with all types of chemicals. These chemicals were created with the intent to improve living through industrial technological advances. They can however, negatively effect our over all health. There is a strong relation between miscarriages and compounds such as, heavy metals, solvents and pesticides to name a few. Even low to moderate lead exposure may increase the risk for miscarriage. Environmental exposures should not be overlooked when trying to achieve a successful pregnancy. It is not necessary to live in fear but it is important to be educated of the potential health risks associated with compounds in our environment." (to read full report visit her website at http://www.drmarchese.com/)
Further discussion on these and related topics will be posted over the next few weeks.
As I mentioned before all comments and opinions are welcomed.
I highly recommend this book if you or someone you know has suffered from a miscarriage.
Introduction
Good Morning everyone!
I would like to take a moment to introduce the purpose for this blog.
Recently I have made a type of career change, I guess you can say, and began to write freelance articles, advertising for different products and services and such.
I have created this blog as kind of a discussion forum. I will pitch an idea and ask for your opinions and imputs, personal experience and any ideas that you feel are pertinent to the subject. If you choose I will list you as a contact in the article unless you prefer you may remain anonymous. I have also included a public e-mail, so if you prefer not to share you thoughts publicly, however are opinionated on the subject feel free to send me an e-mail.
Occasinally I might ask opinions on a certain product or service I am working on. I respect and value the opinion of my fellow bloggers, hence why I created this blog. If there is a product or service I'm marketing that you feel is not useful, then tell me. Be as honest and truthful in your responses as it helps companies to serve you, the consumer, better.
I would like to thank-you all for visiting, please do visit often!
Remember your opinion matters, make your voice be heard.
I would like to take a moment to introduce the purpose for this blog.
Recently I have made a type of career change, I guess you can say, and began to write freelance articles, advertising for different products and services and such.
I have created this blog as kind of a discussion forum. I will pitch an idea and ask for your opinions and imputs, personal experience and any ideas that you feel are pertinent to the subject. If you choose I will list you as a contact in the article unless you prefer you may remain anonymous. I have also included a public e-mail, so if you prefer not to share you thoughts publicly, however are opinionated on the subject feel free to send me an e-mail.
Occasinally I might ask opinions on a certain product or service I am working on. I respect and value the opinion of my fellow bloggers, hence why I created this blog. If there is a product or service I'm marketing that you feel is not useful, then tell me. Be as honest and truthful in your responses as it helps companies to serve you, the consumer, better.
I would like to thank-you all for visiting, please do visit often!
Remember your opinion matters, make your voice be heard.
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